Life of an Opera Ghost
by Jessb89
Summary: A young girl visting France wonders around the Opera Populaire after having heard the story of the Phantom of the Opera and finds herself his captive. The Phantom forces her to marry him, Can she ever learn to love an Opera Ghost.
1. Chapter 1

I decided to write down the story of my life. It is an unusual one. One that most people will never be able to relate to. If 30 years ago someone would have told me that this was how my life would end I would have thought them crazy but now looking back, on the way things began and how one single event changed the course of my life forever, I wouldn't change things if I could. Albeit unusual, my life has been happy; filled with its hardships as any other but still happy, still appreciated.

My husband Erik and I have 3 children, they are all grown now with children of their own but they only know of the happy parts of our life together they don't know how our story began, they don't know the truth of how their parents came to be together. And that is why I am writing this, so that some day when I am gone they can read this and know the truth; I don't like the idea of leaving them with false ideas and lies.

Erik and I have discussed this several times and have both agreed to write our versions of our life together. This is my account:

I feel that I should start from the beginning before Erik.

My childhood was a normal one. I was born in a small town in Washington. I lived with my parents and 5 siblings. I had 3 older brothers, an older sister and a younger sister. I did all of the things that children did; played sports, went to school, caused trouble with my friends and siblings.

I expected my life to be like everyone else's. I would finish school, go to college, have a career, get married and have kids. Instead, I ended up with something entirely different. Different but so much better than anything I could have imagined.

Everything started when my parents decided to take all of us kids on a big family vacation after my 18th birthday. All of us kids assumed we'd be heading to the beach or maybe even to Disney but when our parents announced that we would be going to Europe we couldn't believe it. We had never been out of the country before.

I was so excited, I had always wanted to go to Europe. My parents decided that we would go to France first. This was more exciting then anything. I begged for them to take me to the Opera Populaire, where the real accurance of the Phantom of the Opera took place. I wanted to explore the building. I wanted to be able to say that I had actually been there. My parents finally gave in, they agreed to stay in a hotel about a block away from the Opera House so that I could go to the Opera House while everyone else was out exploring the city.

Little did I know that this request would lead to my life changing forever.

Author's Note****************************************************************8

Thank you, I'm glad. I'm going to be posting more today. I'm just having some issues. I have another Phic up called A Girl's Diary and I want to make these characters different from the ones in my other story. I dont want it to be the exact same characters just in a different circumstance. Anyways, I'm working on it. But thank you so much for the review, I appreciate it. I tend to loose focus and enthusiasm when I dont get reviews. So thank you!


	2. Chapter 2

The end of the school year came and went, before I knew it, it was the night before we would be leaving. I was well prepared. I h if ad spent the last month looking up and reading everything I could find on the Opera House and it's resident ghost. I found tons of articles and firsthand accounts, old play bills, all sorts of things. But, the best thing I found was the blue prints to the Opera House, I know had a map to not only Opera House but also to all of its tunnels and catacombs.

Ok, so in truth I actually had to do some hacking find the blue prints but hey who would know right. I packed myself a little back pack just for my explorations. I had 2 flashlights, batteries, a camera, a first aid kit and my maps. I was ready to go and definitely excited. The idea of being scared never even came into my mind, the thought that I could possibly be entering myself into a dangerous situation never even occurred to me. Really, I didn't even think I was going to find anything. I mean the stories about the Opera Ghost were from so long ago that there was no way that going into the Opera House could still be dangerous. I mean if there was any danger they wouldn't have Opera House open for tours right? Wrong. Very Wrong.

The flight took an ungodly amount of hours and by the time we arrived at our hotel all I could think about was going to sleep. So, I decided to save my adventure for the following day after I  
>had had a long nights rest and some food.<p>

The next morning I woke up showered, pulling my long hair up into a ponytail and through on a pair of shorts and a tank top. After having breakfast with the family, I ran back up to the room to grab my pack of supplies. But, before leaving I handed my sister a walkie talkie telling her that I would give her an update every help hour and that if she didn't hear from me to tell our parents and call the police. Just because I didn't think I would find anything didn't mean I couldn't be careful right.

As I walked down the street to the Opera House I tested the walkie to make sure I could talk to Jasmine. I wasn't sure how well they would work underground but I figured it was better to have something with me than nothing at all.

Finally, I made it to the Opera House. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I had found pictures of the Opera House had looked like before the fire and before it was rebuilt. You would never know that there had been a fire. It looked exactly like it did in the pictures. But, standing outside it now and having studied the blue prints I knew that it was massive both above ground and well as under. There was no way I would be able to explore it in one day.

I entered through the main lobby. My steps making noise on the marble floors. There was a massive staircase in front of me that lead up to the balconies, according to what the blue prints said. I didn't know if any changes had been made when the building was rebuilt.

As I walked through the lobby then up to the boxes, I knew that nothing about the layout of the building had been changed. There were a few modern touches like the electricity rather than gas lamps or candles but as far as the building went everything was pretty much the same.

Visitors to the Opera House were only allowed access to the lobby, boxes and theater. Backstage as well as the dressing rooms, and basements were off limits to everyone except workers. But of course that wasn't about to stop me. I pulled my "map" from my back pack studying it. Trying to find the nearest tunnel or entrance to the basement. I realized that there was a door in the hallway to the boxes that would open up onto a staircase that led down to the basements which would then give me access to the tunnels down to the catacombs.

I stood in that hallway, debating what to do. After a couple minutes my mind was made up. I ran back out to the street to the vendor outside the Opera House and bought a few water bottles from him, then walkied Jasmine to let her know where I would be going and that I may not get signal once I went too far underground so if she had not heard from me by dinner time, then something was wrong and she needed to get help. I set the alarm on my watch to go off at 5 o'clock pm that would give me plenty of time to explore. I then headed back inside to make my way down into the basement.

I wish I had known that that would be the last time I would see sunlight for a very long time.


	3. Chapter 3

As I walked back into the theater I tried to act nonchalant, like I was just another curious tourist. I walked around the lobby slowly, looking at the paintings on the walls. Then finally after about 10 minutes I headed up the marble staircase back, up to the hallway where I knew the doors was located but when I reached the hall way I had to fight back the disappointment. There was no actual door, it was a secret door hidden somewhere in the wall and now I was going to have to try to find it, without anyone noticing what I was doing.

I set my backpack down on the ground pulling out the blue prints, I found the part of the wall where the door should have been and began feeling along it, trying to feel for a crease or maybe feel air coming through but there was nothing. No hidden door handle, no button. I even tried pulling on the old style lighting fixtures thinking maybe on of them might be a lever but nothing worked.

After about 20 minutes of failed attempts I pulled out the map looking for other ways to get down into the basements but they were all backstage. I knew that I was going to have an even harder time getting around back there without anyone noticing me. I knew that this was it; I had to find this door. A plan started to formulate in my head but I wasn't really sure how it would work out. I didn't like the idea of vandalizing the opera house or of leaving evidence that someone had been here snooping around. So, as far as I could tell I had three choices. I could forget about getting into the underground parts of the opera house and just settle for having been inside it at all, I could come back at night when no one was here and break in, or I could with the plan I already had. After a few minutes I made up my mind. I was here; I had never been able to do anything like this in my life and would probably never have another opportunity so I might as well take it.

I went over to my bag pulling out the Swiss army knife I had taken from my brother in case I needed to protect myself. I then stared at the blue prints then back at the wall trying to figure out exactly where the door should be. Once I had found the spot where I was almost a hundred percent sure the door would be I started to use the blade to peel of the wall paper, trying to find the edge of the door. I did little sections at a time hoping that I would find the edge and not have to remove large portions of wall paper.

Finally after having been peeling wall paper for about 5 minutes and having removed a good portion of it, I found the edge of the door. It was a small hairline fracture there was no I way I would have felt it through the wall paper. But, now that I had found it, I still didn't know how I was going to open the door. The crack was too small for me to be able to stick my fingers in and pry the door open.

I couldn't believe it, I had just wasted all of that time and I still couldn't open then door. I was so frustrated. I actually banged my head against the wall in my frustration but that turned out the perfect thing to do. I had hit something, a button or something because all of a sudden the door popped open, sending me stumbling backwards. I had missed the button by all of an inch when I was searching for one. I looked around me to make sure no one had noticed while softly rubbing my head where I had hit on the wall.

I walked to the door slowly peering around it and was hit in the face by stare warm air. I could tell no one had used this passage way in years. I grabbed my bag pulling out the flashlight shining in to the darkness thank God I hadn't walked thought the door into the darkness. Through the door there was a small landing then a spiral staircase heading down underneath the opera house, had I walked through with out looking I would have probably fallen right down the stairs.

I stepped through the door way onto the landing into the hot air. I was so glad I had work something light I could already feel myself starting to sweat in this dry heat. I turned back towards the hallway shining my light around searching for a way to shut the door. Finally on the wall beside me I found it and small knot that was actually a button. Had I not been looking I never would have found it. I pressed it softly, taking one more deep breath of fresh air before the door shut closing me in to the darkness. I hoped the line I had made in the wallpaper would not be noticeable if people were walking down the hallway.

I turned heading slowly down the staircase. I had to take deep breathes. I was pretty sure I could feel a panic attack coming on. I didn't like being alone in the dark and I had that feeling like someone was watching me and I knew I was getting paranoid because I kept seeing things moving from the corner of my eye but when I shined my light in to the shadows there was nothing there. I made myself focus on my surrounding, made myself focus on the details so that I would commit everything I saw to memory. The staircases as well as the curved walls surrounding it were made of stone and the walls felt almost wet as if there was moisture in the air but if there was I definitely couldn't feel it. The air was so hot and dry. I thought this is what it must feel like to be in a tomb. But, that thought just freaked me out even more so I tried to think of something else.

This staircase was endless I had been going down it for at least ten minutes when the air started to feel cooler, less dank and now I could definitely feel the moisture in the air, it felt wonderful after that dry air but I couldn't figure out where the cool air was coming from.

All of a sudden I got to the bottom of the staircase. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I was standing on the edge of a giant underground lake. There were giant candle lit candelabras hanging from the ceiling above lake and coming out of the water every few feet. The lake was huge I couldn't even see the other side of it.

Bobbing along on the edge of the water was a boat, no not a boat, it was a gondola; A black gondola. I stood there staring at it for a couple seconds, confused. Why would there be a gondola down here?

Finally, I snapped out of it and before I could even consider what I was doing I hopped down the steps to the gondola and jumper right in, grabbing the oar and started trying to maneuver my way across the lake. Needless to say it took a long time; I wasn't sure how I was supposed to make myself go. But eventually I managed it, and as I got farther across the lake I started to see a light and I could tell this wasn't light from the candelabras. This was different; I was getting closer to the other bank of the lake. I laughed lightly to myself thinking; maybe I've made it to the Opera Ghost's house. It never entered my mind that I could be right.


	4. Chapter 4

Finally I reached the other bank of the lake, I hoped out of the gondola as it softly hit the shore. But, what I found when I looked up left me dumbfounded. It was a house. An actual house built right into the stone of the catacombs. But the house was made of brick; there was a red door with two bay windows on either side. I stood there staring at like an idiot until finally my brain decided to kick in again.

I didn't know what to do. I never expected to actually find anything. I considered leaving. Whatever or whoever was in that house never need know that I was here. I could leave now and go back to the hotel and my family. But now that I had found this place, I couldn't just leave without knowing. Was there really someone living down here? I had to know; my curiosity finally won out and walked up to the house knocking on the door.

I don't know what I expected. If it was the Opera Ghost living here I'm sure he wasn't used to having people walking up and knocking on his door. He'd probably kill just for something so simple. But, nothing happened no one came, no dark shadows coming swooping out to kill me. I just stood there. Finally, after a few minutes I realized I was being stupid, no one was coming. So, I lifted my hand to the door handle and pushed. To my surprise the door swung open to reveal a beautifully decorated foyer.

I guess I shouldn't have been surprised. Why would he keep his door locked? Who would be stupid enough to come down here and try to get into his house? Apparently, I would.

I looked around myself one last time before slowly walking into the house. It was beautiful. There were dark hard wood floors and the walls were painted a tan/gold color. It was richly decorated with Persian rugs and tapestries. There were chandeliers and candelabras everywhere. In front of me was a beautiful staircase leading up to an open landing that split into two directions. Beyond the staircase lay what looked to be a dining room.

I walked farther into the house, leaving my backpack in the gondola and pushing the front door slightly so that it would close. To the right of the staircase lay and beautiful living room; the walls painted in a burgundy red with a brown couch and recliner. In front of the couch was a beautiful marble fireplace. To the left of the staircase was what looked to be a music room? A messy one at that, there was music sheets all over the room, along with all sorts of instruments, there was a beautiful organ against the far wall as well as a keyboard and a guitar, as well as instruments I had never even seen before.

Slowly I started to head up the stairs my hand gliding along the railing and my feet sinking into o the plush carpet. I couldn't help but think how perfect this house was, being inside you completely forgot that you were underground. When I reached the landing I looked to my left to see a black wooden door slight open. I walked over to it and pushed it open further to reveal a bedroom with blood red walls. Everything in the room was decorated in varying shades of red and gold. It was beautiful but the most amazing thing was the bed. Situated against the far wall was a bed carved out of dark wood but the most extraordinary thing was that it was carved to look like giant swan with the mattress of the bed in middle. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. The bed looked so soft and comfy. I could just imagine sleeping on it. But, I pulled my thoughts away from the bed long enough to really look around the room. It was beautifully decorated with different antique looking items from all over the world. Along one wall was a floor to ceiling book case full with hundreds, maybe thousands of books. I walked along running my finger of the books. There were all sorts everything from fiction and nonfiction to historical books and auto-biography. There were books on architecture and psychology. I was so engrossed in the books that it took a little while for the sound of the bedroom creaking open to fully register in my mind and as it did it was too late. Suddenly there was a rope around my neck and it being pulled tighter so that I couldn't breathe, the suddenly I was being whipped around and the last thing I remember seeing before passing out was a start white mask covering the left side of the most beautiful face I'd ever seen.


	5. Chapter 5

As I slowly started to regain consciousness I realized several things at once; my hands were shackled together, I was lying on the softest sheets in the most comfortable bed ever, I wasn't wearing my own clothes. This realization was enough to have jumping out of the bed. It took a couple seconds for my groggy mind to fully comprehend what I was seeing.

I was in the bedroom, his bedroom. I had been lying in his huge swan shaped bed. The shock of this was enough to take my mind off my attire until I caught sight of myself in the full length mirror to my right. What I saw almost caused me to slip back into unconsciousness.

My hands were shackled but the most disturbing thing was what I was wearing and how I looked. I had a harsh reddish purple bruise all around my neck from the rope. The outfit I had on automatically made me think of Princess Jasmine from Aladdin. It was the same sort of outfit she wore in the movie. It was made out of a scratchy almost see through material. The top if that's what you could call it was long sleeved but ended just beneath my breasts leaving my stomach and most of my back completely bare. The bottoms weren't much better although I guess they could have been considered pants but were also almost completely see through and I could tell that I did not have anything on underneath them.

Had I been in a different situation I would have thought that this outfit was perfect for a night in the bedroom with my long dark brown hair falling down my back, the light in the room making my golden skin seem to almost glow, and my large tattoo on my back completely on display but now that thought left me terrified.

As I stood there looking at myself in the mirror, I once again did not hear the door to the bedroom opening.

I jumped when all of a sudden I hear the deepest yet most appealing voice I had ever heard. That voice left me mesmerized unable to think. "Well don't you look absolutely appetizing? I knew this would be perfect for you. It shows just enough skin and is just see through enough for me to have a hard time taking my eyes off you but still covers enough to leave the rest to my imagination. And that tattoo on your back darling is the sexiest thing I have ever seen. And I must say those shackles on your wrists don't hurt either, I'd rather say they complete the picture."

These types of words were exactly what I had been afraid of. I turned slowly to face the man I could only assume was the Phantom of the Opera, I had found him. Or rather he had found me. He would have been extremely handsome if not for the mask covering half his face and because of what I knew it was hiding. He was immaculately dressed in black dress pants, a white dress shirt and a black vest. But that mask, it was alluring yet completely frightening at the same time.

He just stood there allowing me to take in his form just as he was doing to me but as I looked at his face once more and I could see the lust and the desire in his eyes, I was instantly on my guard once more and he knew it.

Finally I asked the questions I needed to have answered. Crossing my arms over my chest I spoke, "What did you do to my, why am I here, why am I dressed like this. You can't keep me here!"

As I finished speaking to my amazement he began to laugh. At first it was just a normal laugh but it became sinister almost maniacal. As he began to speak his voice slowly got louder until he was screaming. "My dear I can do anything to you that I like. You ventured not only into my opera house but into the cellar. You took my means of transportation across the lake so that I had to back track through one of my other tunnels. You broke into my home. I can do absolutely anything to you that I please and believe me my dear I will!"

I stared at my feet; I'm not stupid I had watched many police shows. I knew that if I argued with him it would just provoke him and cause him to harm me or worse. So, I asked speaking barely above a whisper "So, what now?"

At this he walked over to me, standing in front of me, slowly lifting a hand and brushing a strand of hair from my face. "I have decided that you will stay here with me, at first as my prisoner until the day that I know that you won't leave me, then as my lover and someday as my wife. Don't bother arguing with me, you have no choice and I will not hesitate to kill you so you can decide to stay here with me and live a comfortable life with me once you accept your fate or you can choose to have your life ended."

I stood there watching him, my captor. A war raging inside me. Part of me said that I would rather die then be here against my will but the other said that it wouldn't be so horrible to stay here with I'm until I could figure out how to escape. The house was beautiful and he seemed to want more than just…sex. He had said lover, would he let me decide or would he for me to make a split second decision. After contemplating my options a bit more I decided to stay...for now if it came to him forcing himself on me then I could always take my own life.

I sighed sadly looking up into his eyes and slowly shook my head saying softly, "Ok, you will I'll stay, I don't want to die."

At my words a small smile played on his lips. He lifted a hand and slowly ran a fingertip along my cheek and jaw. "I know that right now you hate me and feel a captive but someday, in time you will stop feeling that way. When you see how devoted and caring I can be. But I should warn you that I do have a bit of a temper and can be quite impatient so I think it would be rather prudent of you to simply do as your told until we develop our relationship further and learn to trust one another."

I just shook my head in acknowledgement.

Ok, we have a lot to discuss Darling. First off, you may call me Erik. You are bound to have many questions about me, feel free to ask away. I can not promise that I will be able to answer them all but I do promise to always be honest with you. Now this will be our bedroom. I have provided you with clothing in the wardrobe; I don't foresee you requiring anything other than what is already in there."

I walked over as Erik opened the door to the wardrobe as well as pulled out the drawers. I couldn't help the look of shock that came over my face. Hanging in the wardrobe were the exact same outfit I had on but in varying colors as week as slipper type shoes. In the drawers were different types of lingerie, slips, and nighties. There was no actual clothing or undergarments. Erik must have noticed the look on my face because he chuckled softly and stood closer to me.

"This is all the clothing you will be needing. I am particularly fond of these garments. I first saw them on the Shah's concubines when I was abroad. They were…appealing and must say that they make you look even more beautiful."

Before I could stop myself I had responded in a harsh tone. "So that's what this is. You talk of devotion but I'm really just here to be your whore."

Before I knew what was happening Erik had sprung at me and had pushed me up against the wardrobe. He had his hands held tight above my head and his body pressed into mine, his faces inches from mine.

"If you were my whore I would have taken you already, you would be chained to the bed because there would be no need for you to leave it; I would have you before me naked at all time."

He stopped for a second to drag his eyes slowly down my body. I knew that from his angle he would have a perfect view down in to my cleavage. I could feel the heat from his stare just as sure as I could feel it from his flesh. I looked up into his eyes defiantly letting him know that I knew he was looking and what he was thinking. As he spoke he began to run his free hand slowly over my body, not hesitating to run it firmly over my breasts or even slowly between my legs.

"If you were my whore I would touch you this was constantly, not just when my desire for you finally over comes me and I am no longer to control myself." He ran his hand up to my breast once more before pulling away completely.

Erik stood there looking at me, his desire put blatantly on display before me. "I had planned don bringing you out into the rest of the house to show you around your new home but now I don't know if cans stand to be in the same room as you." And with that e stomped out of the room, slamming the door shut behind him.

I sank down onto he bed laying there for what seemed like hours until finally my sobs slowed, my breathing returned to normal and I no longer had any tears left to sighed. Afterward, I lay there thinking, contemplating. I had always been a firm believer in the notion that everything happens for a reason. So there had to be a reason why I was in this situation now. What I knew beyond a doubt was that I did not want to die, nor did I want Erik to hurt me so I would have to play along with his game.

I stood going into the adjoining bathroom to wash my face and straighten myself up. I came back into the bedroom going tot the door and truing the handle. I was surprised to find that the door wasn't locked.

I began to search the house for Erik. Finally, I found him sitting in an armchair before a roaring fire in the living room. I took a deep breath before going into the living room and sitting myself on the floor at Erik's feet.

He just stared at me a look of mild shock on his face before he composed himself once more. He brought his hand up to tenderly caress my face. I allowed this for a minute before taking his hand in mine and beginning g to talk, looking up at him.

"Erik, I still hold to my answer from before. I said that I would rather go along wit this than not and be hurt or killed and I meant it. Lying in that room I remembered one of my fundamental beliefs and that is that everything happens for a reason so although I may not know what it is right now there is a reason why I am here with you and I want to find out what it is. So here I am."

Erik sat staring at me for a couple seconds before caressing my face once more. Than gestured to the other armchair.

There was a tray of food in front of it. I understood his meaning and sat in the armchair and began eating, glancing at Erik every couple of seconds.


	6. Chapter 6

WARNING: THIS CHAPTER IS RATED NC-17 FOR VIOLENCE AND SEXUAL SITUATIONS.

The next few months passed uneventfully. Erik was more my teacher then anything else. He began giving me books to read and started asking me questions about the things I read, he tutored me in math, taught me to speak Italian and French, and taught me how to play the piano. This by far was the most eventful occurrence in the house.

I just couldn't seem to pick it up. It took me forever just to learn one song. Erik just didn't understand how he had been able to learn the piano when he was four but at eighteen I couldn't. It frustrated him to no end even more so then the fact that I was incapable of understanding math. After half an hour of my butchering a simple song he would get up and storm out of the room slamming the door behind him.

I actually preferred this. Once I learned the letters of each key I was able to learn the songs, very slowly but surely. I did better on my own then I did with Erik sitting next to me on the bench. He made me nervous and I knew he expected me to play perfectly but I wasn't capable of that without a lot of hours of practice. So everyday after Erik would lose his patience I would sit at the piano for hours teaching myself to play and finally after three months I got the hang of it and actually became quite good. I have been appreciative of Erik for getting me started on the piano it has remained something that I love to do even after all these years.

During those first few months Erik remained the perfect gentleman aside from forcing me to sleep in the same bed as him. It actually wasn't that bad. He kept his word and kept his hands to himself. Slowly as the days went by and I began to trust him I began cuddling up to him at night and then eventually would even let him hold me, resting my head on his chest.

I didn't do this too often though because I could tell that for some reason it made Erik sad. Every time I would lift Erik's arm to rest my head on his shoulder and put his arm around me he would get this pained look on his face like he was trying to control himself.

Aside from this living with Erik was a lot easier then I had thought it would be. He provided everything I could have ever needed; beautiful smelling soaps, lotions, make up, hair products. The only thing that I refused to do that I knew was making Erik impatient was the fact that I refused to wear any of the lingerie that he had provided. I would wear the night gowns, making sure to get into bed before he came into the room but the more time went on that I refused to wear the lingerie the more frustrated Erik became.

I was afraid that it was only a matter of time before he couldn't control himself any longer and he would force me to wear it.

I had been with Erik for four months and things were going well. We had begun to actually talk to each other; we would stay up until all hours of the night talking about anything and everything. Erik had more DVD's then a Blockbuster but had never watched any of the movies. I soon fixed this tuning Erik into the joys of movie watching. This became one of Erik's favorite activities. Pretty soon we began taking turns cooking dinner; we even went swimming in the lake. Eventually, my hatred of him for kidnapping me disappeared and I began to think of him as a friend and I had no problem with the fact that I would spend the rest of my life down in those cellars.

Until one day everything changed.

It started out like any other day. I got up and changed into a bathing suit Erik had bought me, a bikini of course and headed to the lake for my morning swim. This had become my morning routine. Most nights Erik would stay up late composing so he usually slept in so I would get up swim for about an hour then head inside to shower then begin breakfast in time for Erik to get up. This morning was no different. I finished my swim then headed back into the house and to the bathroom in our bedroom. There was no lock on the bathroom door but Erik had always been a gentleman knocking before entering. He would occasionally come in while I was in the shower to use the bathroom or brush his teeth. I didn't mind this simply because the glass of the shower was made of a foggy sort of glass so that the only thing Erik could see was shadows and maybe the outline of my body.

I knew that on occasion Erik would draw out the process of brushing his teeth so that he could watch me in the mirror above the sink. I never said anything only because I had never actually seen him do this. I used very hot water in the shower so I couldn't see Erik through all the steam that the hot water created which is also why I didn't mind him using the bathroom or brushing his teeth while I was in the shower, I figured that if I couldn't see him through the steam then there was no way he could really see me that well with the steam and the foggy glass. Apparently I was wrong.

On that fateful morning I went into the bedroom quietly getting my clothes out and a towel then headed into the bathroom. Most morning I just left the bathroom door open because it was hard to breathe in there with all of that steam, this morning was no different. Leaving the door open I turned the shower on and watched as the bathroom slowly filled with steam. This was by far my favorite part of the day. Erik loved the cold, so it was freezing in the rest of the house. I always had to have him start a fire in the living room or I had taken to wearing his dress shirts over my own "clothes" which Erik seemed to thoroughly enjoy. So being in the bathroom while it heated up with steam and then stepping into the hot water of the shower was always the best part of my day.

I stood in front of the mirror as I pulled my wet hair out of the bun I had put it up in to swim. Obviously I hadn't been able to cut it so it had grown rather long falling below my waist. I hadn't had my hair this long since I was a child, part of my liked I thought it made me like womanly with long flowing locks but I wasn't really sure that was the image I wanted to convey to Erik. One of the best things about living with Erik was that he insisted we eat healthy. There was no junk food in the house, the only thing Erik kept for my sake was chocolate because he quickly learned that there was about a week a month that I came very close to throttling him in his sleep if I didn't have a chocolate fix. That was the only time when I was allowed chocolate though and even then it was in limited quantities. As much as I wanted to be mad at Erik for controlling what I ate I couldn't be, I quickly began to lose the weight that I had been trying to lose for years and thanks to my morning swims I began to build muscle tone. As grateful as I was for this, I noticed that as the pounds melted away I caught Erik watching me more and more.

Since I always left the door to the bathroom open I would normally strip as quickly as I could then sprint into the shower but since Erik was asleep this morning I took my time. I stood in front of the mirror studying myself. My hair had grown long and seemed to have gotten darker now that it didn't have the natural highlights in it that the sun light brought out after months of being locked away inside my skin had lost some of his golden color but I had convinced Erik to buy me some of that self-tanning lotion so although my skin wasn't as golden as it had once been it hadn't lost all of its color either. My body looked the way I had always wanted it to. My belly was flat, my arms and legs shapely.

I heard stirring in the other room so I quickly hopped into the shower and began to wash my hair. The soaps and shampoos that Erik had bought me smelled wonderful and I knew that the hot water and steam made it so that the smell of them filled up the bathroom as well as the bedroom beyond.

Erik came in and began his morning routine. He did this so often now that I knew exactly what he would do. He would come in and go into the smaller room where the toilet was closing the door behind him. He would then come out and go over to the sink to brush his teeth and shave. At this point I would always try to see him through the steam. In the months that I had been there I had never seen Erik without his mask on. I learned early on not to speak of it. The one time I did Erik locked me in the bedroom for hours until I promised never to mention it again.

I didn't know what it was he was hiding under there but I knew that I wanted to find out. Erik did everything he could to keep this from me. It was at this point that he was as determined to hide himself from me as I was to hide myself from him. He would stand at the mirror making sure the bathroom was nice and foggy and make sure that I was entertained in washing my hair or anything else before he removed his mask. I really wanted to finish my shower early so that I could come out of the shower and catch him before he put the mask back on. But I never did. I was kind of afraid to see what it was he was hiding and he had thus far given me the privacy I asked for so I didn't feel right taking his.

After shaving and brushing his teeth Erik would put his mask back on then head back into the bedroom to make the bed and straighten up the room. It was at this point that I would come out and dry myself off before getting dressed. This morning I did things differently. It had grown hot in the bathroom because of all of the steam I didn't want to stay in there to brush my hair out and put my make up as I usually did. Also, the outfits that Erik had given were made of a scratchy material and always left a red rash on my arms and legs so I had taken to putting lots of lotion on before getting dressed it seemed to help but on this morning I had forgotten to bring my lotion into he bathroom with me. So I wrapped one of the big towels Erik had provided tightly around my body and headed out into the bedroom. The towel covered my entire chest and fell about mid thigh so it covered everything that needed to be kept covered.

I sat at the vanity table Erik had built me making sure to cross my legs so that nothing could be seen and began to brush out my hair. As I did I hummed to myself quietly. Looking in the mirror I noticed that Erik had stopped what he was doing to watch me. I chose to ignore this and continued what I was doing. I figured that he would eventually go back to what he was doing.

After brushing out my hair and applying the little make up I usually wore I got up and began to put lotion on my arms.

Then all of a sudden Erik grabbed me from behind and pushed me down to the floor getting on top of me. I yelled at him, struggling underneath him.

"Erik! What are you doing? What's wrong with you?" I was pushing against his chest to get him off of me but he was too heavy I couldn't move him.

"You are such a tease. Do you have any idea what you do to me? You shower with me in the bathroom with you, you where that bath suit like its nothing, you come out like this. In a towel and begin touching yourself and you expect me to do nothing. You must know what this does to me! I can barely control myself around you as it is but now you blatantly tease me with your beautiful body and expect me not to do anything about it. No, it has gone too far, I can't control myself any longer. I must have you, even if it means forcing you!"

At this Erik lifted off me just enough to be able to yank the towel off of me exposing my entire body to his hungry eyes. The sight of my body bare before was enough to stop him for a moment. He sat there his body straddling mine running his eyes slowly over my body and I could feel his arousal through the thin pants he was wearing.

I took this moment to try to pull myself out from under him but I still couldn't he was just too strong. In that instant I knew. This was it; this was the moment I had always known was coming. Erik was going to rape me and there was nothing I could do about it.

I realized that as I struggled underneath Erik I had unintentionally ground the lower half of my body against his. This seemed to snap Erik out of his reprieve. He made this noise a sort of half moan half growl and next thing I knew he was laying on top of me once more running his hands and his mouth all over my body.

I cried, I begged him to stop. But my please fell on deaf ears. Erik was clearly passed the point of no return. I stopped struggling and just laid there, closing my eyes as silent tears fell. Part of me hoped that Erik would snap out of it and stop but he didn't. He continued using his hands and mouth on parts of my body that no one had ever touched. I thought of other things mostly my family. This helped, I was able to close my eyes and block out what was happening to me. Images of my life before coming here flashed before my eyes the only thing stealing those images away was the searing pain I felt as Erik roughly pushed himself inside of me. In that moment I hated him more then I had ever hated anyone. He had taken everything from me; my family, my life, my future and now he had taken this to, the part of me that I was supposed to willingly give up. Finally, I after what seemed like hours I felt warmth inside of me which could only mean that Erik had finished.

He lay on top of me for a few minutes catching his breath then all of a sudden his body went rigid and he pulled himself off of me, away from me. I curled into a ball on the floor, crying. To make matters worse Erik said the one thing that no one wants to hear in this situation.

"This is your fault. If you weren't such a tease I would have been able to control myself." And with that he grabbed his clothes and stormed out of the room.

I lay there for hours curled up in a ball crying, staring at the stains of blood on my legs and on the carpet. I contemplated killing myself but I couldn't bring myself to do it. So, I lay there crying and bleeding knowing that no matter what happened after this I would never be the same and I would never forgive Erik for all of things that he had taken from me.

*************Author's Note*****************************

Ok, guys I've never written a rape scene before. It was a difficult one for me. Let me know what you think.


	7. Chapter 7

The next couple of weeks passed very slowly. Erik and I did everything possible to avoid each other. We ate in silence and Erik had taken to sleeping in one of the other rooms. For two weeks we didn't speak, we didn't even look at each other.

I spent most of my time in the bedroom sleeping or just laying there staring at the ceiling. I kept having flashbacks of that day; I also woke up in the middle of the night after having vivid nightmares. I didn't know what to do. It was like my soul had been taken from me. I didn't feel like doing anything, I had to force myself just to get out of bed in the morning.

Looking back now I realize that what happened probably was partly my fault. I should have closed the bathroom door when showering, I shouldn't have allowed him in and I should have acted decently. But the truth is I liked the attention. Subconsciously I knew that Erik would be the only man I would ever see for the rest of my life and I liked knowing that he wanted me.

One night I was laying in bed staring up at the ceiling as usual when all of a sudden the door opened and in came Erik. To my surprise he came in, changed into his pajamas and climbed into bed with me. At the look of shock on my face he gave me a dirty look and rolled onto his side as he spoke.

"This is my house too, it's my bed too. I'm tired of sleeping on the couch. Don't worry I won't attack you in the middle of the night. And don't think about leaving the room. You're here to be my companion and that's what you will be regardless of what's happened or how you may feel about me now."

I didn't speak I just lay as close to the edge of the bed as I could trying to hold back the tears.

The next morning something happened that neither of us expected.

I woke up around five am feeling queasy. I had to take deep breathes with my eyes closed because every time I opened them the room span. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore I knew that I was going to be sick.

I jumped out of bed startling Erik and ran to the bathroom not even bothering to close the door.

This had always been the one thing I had always hated about being sick, I can't stand to throw up, and it's disgusting. I sat on my knees crying as it continued for about five minutes, I was having a hard time holding my hair back while my body was racked with heaves. Suddenly, I felt a hand come forward and pull my hair back for me.

Erik had come into the bathroom and dropped to his knees beside me. He was holding my hair back for me and began rubbing my back slowly telling me that it was ok.

I couldn't help but flinch as he touched, after everything that had happened I suppose it was only a natural reaction.

Finally, it slowed down. I stayed on me knees catching my breath trying to stop the tears.

I tried to figure out why I had gotten sick so suddenly. Was I getting a cold, had Erik not cooked our dinner properly? Until suddenly it dawned on me. I hadn't had my period when I was supposed to.

Erik was watching me, still rubbing my back. He must have thought I was crazy when all of a sudden my face broke out into a huge smile and I started to giggle. I couldn't help it.

I know that many of you will probably think me crazy as well. Why would I be happy to have a child who was the product of rape? Erik and I hadn't made this baby out of love, in fact Erik and I hadn't made anything, and Erik had made it. But suddenly that didn't seem like such a big deal.

I was going to be a mother. I was going to have a baby to take care of, to teach, to love. I wasn't going to have to be alone anymore.

I suddenly felt like I could take anything, like I could stand up to Erik.

I stood up and went to the sink and quickly brushed my teeth before heading back into the bedroom.

I turned to face Erik as he followed me.

"Who would have known that something good would come from your selfishness?"

Erik stood in the doorway looking at me suspiciously. "Whatever are you babbling on about?"

I laughed. "Erik, I can't be one hundred percent sure yet but I am about ninety-nine percent sure that because of your….actions we are going to have a baby."

I expected Erik to have some kind of huge reaction; I expected anger mostly. I expected him to tell me that he would be forcing me to have an abortion even if he had to do it himself. But what I got was the last thing I was expecting.

Erik suddenly fell to his knees before me and broke out into tears. He was literally sobbing.

I was so shocked that I just sat on the edge of the bed staring at him. Part of me wanted to go to him to hold him but part of me was still afraid of him. I had by no means forgotten what he had done to me and I sure as hell hadn't forgiven him.

Erik literally crawled his way to where I was and stayed on his knees before me, taking my hands in his. I couldn't help but jump at his touch.

"I truly am a monster. Things were going perfectly and I ruined them. I couldn't control myself and because of my own weakness I hurt you, you can barely even tolerate to be in the same room as me. And now instead of having such a miracle brought upon us through love as I always imagined it would, it has been brought to us because I did something so horrible. I wouldn't blame you if you never forgave me. And now… now we're having a child. We're having a child and you hate me."

I looked up towards the roof sending a silent prayer up to whoever was listening to give me strength.

"Erik, I don't know if I will ever be able to forgive you for what you did to me. But, incidentally because of it you have given me the one thing that I have dreamed about having. Despite the fact that I don't trust you, you are still the father of this baby and for that I feel that we must make things work. I am not saying that I'm going to be marrying you or that we will have any type of romantic relationship but we can at least be cordial to one another again, we can at least be friends."

While I was talking I noticed that Erik had begun to cry again. This time even harder then before.

"You should know what to expect. You should know what may be growing inside of you." And with that Erik ripped the mask for his face for the first time truly revealing himself to me. What I saw took my breath away.


	8. Chapter 8

Erik and I sat there staring at each other for what seemed like forever. I was in complete shock. I couldn't force myself to believe what I was seeing.

The right side of Erik's face was deformed, severely deformed. His skin was pulled taut against the bones of his face and was almost completely see through. It was raised and jagged almost like he had been burned. His right eye was sunken into the socket so that you could barely see his eye and there were two holes in the middle of his face where his nose should have been.

Suddenly I realized what Erik was trying to tell me. He had shown me his face so that I would know that there was a chance that this was what our child would look like. He was hoping to scare me so that I wouldn't want the baby.

I stood up and got on my knees in front of Erik. I raised a hand and slowly brought it to his face. The skin felt rough under my fingertips and I could feel his bones. Erik inhaled sharply and closed his eyes.

Watching him I slowly ran my fingertips over his face as I spoke. "Erik, this doesn't change anything. I still want this baby and I am still glad that we are having it. I know that you have had a horrible life but it won't be like that for our child. Our baby will be loved no matter what they look like."

Erik opened his eyes looking at me suspiciously. "If you are going to have even an ounce of anything but love for this baby if it comes out looking like this then do not have it." I didn't speak I just stared at him.

Erik sighed, sort of saying "fine you win."

The first few months of my pregnancy were very difficult for both Erik and I. I was constantly sick. Just the sight of food alone had me running to the bathroom let alone the smell. For weeks all I could eat was broth and crackers and even when Erik succeeded in making me eat something more substantial it all just came back up.

On top of being so sick my hormones were thrown completely out of whack, One second I was fine, then next I was sobbing so loud you would have thought someone had been killed, and then next I was so mad I was literally hurling things at Erik's head.

During my normal moments I felt so bad for Erik. I know that he had gone out and bought all kinds of books on parenting and different things to expect during pregnancy but apparently the books didn't even come close to the truth.

He spent several weeks holding my hair back and cleaning up different areas of the house when I didn't make it to the bathroom in time. He learned to be very careful with the things he said because there was no telling what kind of affect it would have on me. He bought me all kinds of yarn and fabrics and a sewing machine so that I could keep myself entertained making clothes for the baby but most of the time I was too tired to get out of bed let alone do anything else.

Those first three months were hell. I would yell at Erik everyday telling him it was his fault, that he had done this to me. Looking back now I'm surprised he didn't pack up and leave me there.

Finally, after three months things finally got better. I woke up one morning and I was able to get up without the room spinning.

The first thing that came to mind was food. I felt like I could eat a whole cow. I put on one of the new robes Erik had bought me and tip toed out of the room. Erik had taken to disappearing in the mornings, I had no clue where he was going but I knew he always came back soon after I woke up.

But, this morning was different. I found Erik in the kitchen; he was busy cooking what looked like enough food to feed a small country. Even though I thought that I was being quiet Erik still heard me coming and turned smiling towards me when I entered the kitchen.

"Erik, why are you cooking? As far as you knew I wasn't going to eat today."

He chuckled softly before handing me a glass of apple juice. "I woke up this morning with just this feeling that things were going to be better today; I knew you'd be feeling better."

Before I could answer Erik was handing me plate piled high with food. He had made me eggs, bacon, sausage, hash browns, and French toast. He showed me into the living room to eat and watch TV while he served himself.

Sitting in the living room eating the delicious food Erik had made me and watching one of my favorite TV shows I felt happier then I had in months. I was so enthralled with the TV show that I didn't even realize that I had stopped eating and begun to rub and hand over my swollen belly.

Seeing Erik watching me out of the corner of my eye finally brought me out of my reprieve. I looked over at him and saw that he was standing in the doorway with a huge smile on his face and in that moment no matter what Erik said or how nervous he may be I knew that he was just as excited about this baby as I was.

He came into the room and went to the bookshelf pulling out a wrapped box from a drawer as he sat on the couch beside me and waited for me to open the package.

I put my plate down beside me and opened the package. Inside were two books; one a book of baby names and the other a book of different baby outfits you could make by knitting... I sat there staring at them a smile spreading over my face.

Erik reached over and rubbed my belly softly and for the first time I didn't flinch when he touched me. Encouraged by this Erik rubbed my belly who heartedly smiling ear to ear.

"I know that we won't know the sex of the baby until he or she is born but I thought that we could go through the book and pick names for each and then narrow it down until we find one boy name and one girl name that we both like and agree with. And I thought that maybe you could use some ideas for the baby's clothing"

I looked up at Erik with tears in my eyes. This was the first time since Erik had brought me down here that I was actually excited for the future.

The next few months passed quietly. I steadily gained weight as I ate to accommodate both myself and the baby. My belly seemed to never stop growing until I couldn't even see my feet anymore. Erik spent the majority of those few months chuckling to him to see me wobbling around the house as little time as that was since Erik insisted I rest and stay off my feet about 90% of the time.

Erik became a maniac; making sure I was eating only healthy foods and that I was eating enough for myself and the baby, making sure I got enough exercise, making me lay down with my feet propped up for hours at a time to help keep my feet from swelling.

As much as I appreciated everything he was doing for me, I couldn't help but become annoyed. He was taking things overboard, I had to remind myself that he was trying to take care of us so I that I wouldn't let my aggravation show.

The one thing that annoyed me more than anything else was the fact that Eric continued to disappear every morning. He would get up around four am, get breakfast ready and have it waiting for me when I woke up and then leave until lunch time. No matter how many times I tried to ask him what he was up to he wouldn't budge. I even threatened to follow him but that didn't work either, it just resulted in Erik locking me in the bedroom three days in a row until I promised that I would not leave the house.

Finally, about a month before the baby was due Erik sat me down to tell me what he had been doing all of these mornings.

"Ok first off all Darling, I want you to know that what I have been doing and what I am going to do are very big steps for me. I have never in my life considered doing these things and as nervous and anxious as I am about all of this, I am doing it anyways because I intend to take care of both you and our child. Now that I've said my peace will you please come with me so that I can show you what I have been doing?"

Erik led me onto the gondola then across the lake. Next thing I knew we were in a carriage being driven towards the country side. No matter how much I asked he would not tell me where we were going.

Finally after about 20 minutes the carriage turned onto a lane flanked on both sides by the forest and beautiful flowers. Finally we came out of the forest and into a clearing. A clearing was a beautiful house, surrounded by flowers and gardens. It was the most beautiful house I had ever seen.

As Erik and stepped out of the cage and the amazing aroma of all of the flowers overwhelmed me all I could do was grin as I turned to Erik.

"What is this Erik, whose house is this?"

Erik smiled as he gestured to the house. "Why, it ours Mon Ange. You didn't think that we were going to raise our child underneath the opera house did you?"

I stood rooted to the spot, speechless, this gorgeous house was ours. We would have a place to raise our child. That had been the one thing that had dampened my spirits when it came to have the baby, I imagined that he or she would be stick growing up underground never getting to know the wonder of the summer or of snow or any of the other glorious things about being outside out in the open and now Erik had fixed everything.

Erik chuckled as he took my hand and led me up into the house. As Erik gave me the tour I realized that he had made this house for me, it was exact opposite of the kind of house I knew Erik would want to live in but he would anyways, for me and for our child and in that moment I knew everything would be ok.

I was expecting Erik to show me the grounds around the house as well but when we reached the gorgeous French doors that led out onto the patio he hesitated. "Erik, what is it, are the gardens not finished?" I said as I walked up to him putting my hand on his arm.

Erik opened the blinds on the doors showing me the beautiful gardens just passed the patio. "No, it isn't that. They are finished. I just…I….I don't remember the last time I was out in the sunlight."

I stood looking at Erik for a few seconds before deciding what to do. Finally, I opened the doors and walked out onto the patio. I turned to Erik as I stretched my arms out enjoying the feeling of the warm heat on my skin even as the bright light hurt my eyes after so many months underground.

"Erik, its ok you can come out. Think of it this way, what is going to happen in a couple of years when your son or daughter wants you to come outside and play with them. You don't want to miss out on something like that do you?" I held my hand out to him, telling him that it would be ok.

He moved closer, standing just before the edge of light streaming in from the open door. He had this look of complete terror on his face; I didn't think he was going to do it. Then, I heard him say in a voice just above a whisper. "For my child." And with that he stepped out onto the patio and into the light.

Seeing Erik out in the sunlight was like someone switching a light bulb on in my head. Everything seemed to click. Down in the catacombs when everything was dark and mysterious all of this had seemed so…unreal, like I was in a dream. But, seeing Erik out in the sunlight made me realize that this wasn't a dream. This was real. Erik wasn't an Opera Ghost, he wasn't an angel. He was a living, breathing man. I realized that this was it; this was where my life had taken me. I was going to have a baby and no matter how I felt about Erik now, he was the father of my child and now we were irrevocably chained to each other for life. Before I knew what was happening I was crying. What a twisted mind fate had. I had been given everything I had ever wanted; a beautiful home, a baby, a man to spend the rest of my life with. But this man… had so many issues that we would have to work through and deal with and suddenly that task seemed so daunting. I didn't know if I wanted this.

I sat in one of the chairs on the patio letting the tears come. Erik stood looking at me with a look of anger on his face.

"You convince me to come out here, something that I am extremely uncomfortable with and then you cry. Am I really that horrendous to look at that you have to cry while I still have the mask on?" With that Erik tore the mask off, letting out aw sound very much like a growl. He came up to me putting his face within inches of mine. "You better get used to it because that your child you're carrying may very well come out a monster as well." I would have slapped him had he not stormed off yelling all sorts of curse words behind him. A few moments later I heard the galloping of the horses as Erik took the carriage back up the road. He had left me, alone and pregnant In the middle of nowhere.


	9. Chapter 9

I sat in the family of the house waiting for Erik to come back but hours past and he never came. With every hour that passed my anger grew. He had spent the past 8 and a half months driving me crazy trying to make sure that the baby and I were ok but now he had let his damn pride get in the way and had left me pregnant with nowhere to go until he decided to come back.

Well, I wasn't about to play his game. I went to the kitchen happy to see that it was fully stocked. I took a few bottles of water and threw them in my purse, then went upstairs to get a suitcase and fill it with some of the clothes that Erik had moved to the house.

Ten minutes later I was ready to go. I stood in the drive way of the house rubbing my belly and talking to the baby. "Ok little one. Your father's a stubborn idiot so we're going to have to find our own way back to Paris. This is probably going to be a very long walk, I don't really like the idea of having to hitch hike. So, you need to do your part and whatever you do please please don't decide you want to come out while I'm walking in the middle of nowhere especially on such a cold night."

I gave my belly one last soft pat before heading off into the fading light.

I had thought that walking would have helped me clear my head and release some of this anger but it did nothing but make me angrier. If I saw Erik again I was going to kill him.

What bothered me the most was that I had really thought that we were starting to make some progress. I was finally able to Erik touch me without cringing and I didn't think about what he had done to me at least once every day. We were really starting to get along and I had thought that maybe things would really be ok. We would raise our child together and who knew maybe someday we'd be able to have some sort of relationship but now… now Erik would be lucky if he ever even saw his child.

I was able to walk for about an hour before my legs started to cramp up and I felt my energy draining. The baby had settled right on my bladder and I really needed to relieve myself but I really wasn't sure how to do that when I was still in the middle of nowhere surrounded by forest.

I decided to walk for another ten minutes and if I didn't come upon a house or somewhere with a bathroom by then then I would have no choice but to go somewhere in the woods.

Just as I was about to go find a place into the woods to go, I came upon the a drive way leading up to a charming farm house set a little ways back from the road.

I stood at the edge of the farm house debating whether I should go knock on the door or not. It could be anyone in that house. I could get raped or tortured or worse. Just as I was about to turn and keep walking the baby shifted positions pushing down on my bladder even more and I knew that if I didn't hurry and get into that house I was going to urinate all over myself.

I quickly hobbled over to the house as fast as I could. I hesitated for a second at the front door before ringing the doorbell. At first I thought that no one was home because no one came to the door but then finally the door opened to two young guys. I assumed they were brothers because of the strong resemblance between them.

The younger guy gave me a warm smile while the older creeped me out slowly looking me over his eyes lingering on areas of my body where they should have.

Looking at the younger man I smiled as I spoke "Excuse me, I don't mean to bother you but I…I got locked out of my house and have nowhere to go. I'm making my way back towards Paris but I've been walking for about an hour and I really need to rest and use a bathroom."

The older brother immediately held the door open for me while the younger spoke. "Miss you do know that Paris is almost twenty miles from here. You can't walk all the way over there especially in your condition. You look like your about to go into labor any second."

I gave both men an appreciative smile. "O please don't say that, you might jinx me. But, please I really need to use the bathroom."

The younger man smiled and showed me where the bathroom was as he said that once I was done I could come into the kitchen and relax for a little while.

A few minutes later I walked into the kitchen thanking the guys for allowing me into their house. They told me that it was no problem then offered me a bowl of hot soup and some water. I sat at the kitchen table eating as they introduced themselves. The younger one's name was John and the older was Neil. They explained that they lived on the farm with their parents who were on holiday in England at the moment.

We sat and talked for about a half an hour before I stood up saying that I had to be going because it was getting late. But, before I could turn to leave then room John cut me off saying that they had talked while I was in the bathroom and had decided that it would be ok if I stayed for the night. I tried to decline but Neil cut me off.

"I understand that it is not the smartest thing in the world to spend the night in a house with two men who you don't know but think of your baby. You can't walk all the way to Paris, it'd take you a week and you can't be doing all that walking in the state you're in. What if you went into labor and there was no one around. We have a guest room you can sleep in with a big bed and clean sheets and your own bathroom. You can stay the night and then tomorrow morning John and I will take you into Paris. "

Now that I had eaten and relaxed a bit I could really feel how tired I was. I could probably sleep for days.

I thought about it, weighed the pros and cons but I knew that they were right I couldn't walk all the way to Paris and I couldn't risk the baby's health just because I was being stubborn.

I agreed to stay the night.

John led me up to the second floor guest bedroom and showed where the bathroom was. He told me wait a minute as he went into another room then came back a few seconds later with a night gown explaining that they were his mothers and that she wouldn't mind if I used them for the night,

I thanked john as he left the room.

It was a quaint room, scantily decorated with just a bed and night stands against one wall and an armoire and rocking c hair against the other. I went into the bathroom and ran a hot bath for myself. I didn't let myself enjoy the bath too long for fear of falling asleep. So, I hurried and put on the night gown and climbed into the bed.

I had never felt a more comfortable bed. At first I thought that I would not be able to sleep. My mind kept running over the events of the day and despite the coziness of the bed I still felt uncomfortable. I was so used to sleeping in Erik's bed and to have him next to me that it felt weird to be sleeping alone. But finally I drifted off to sleep.

I was having a dream about the baby when I was awoken by something being pressed against my mouth. I opened my eyes suddenly to see Neil leaning over the edge of the bed above me so that he could press his hand over my mouth,

I squirmed to try to get his hand off of me but was unable to shake him, I tried to scream but his hand covered most of the sound.

He shushed me as he lifted the blanket off of me and climbed on top of me straddling my legs since he my belly was too big for him to go any higher. This worked to his advantage because now I was unable to move my legs.

But somehow he managed to mover again and fit himself over my belly so that he was lying on top of me. Next thing I knew he had taken a small towel and stuffed in my mouth so that I couldn't make any noise.

The tears started pouring down my cheeks as I felt him slide a hand under the night gown and over my body.

I remember that all I could think was that this couldn't be happening again and what if he hurt the baby.

I wished more than anything that Erik would show up but I knew that wouldn't happen because Erik had no idea where I was.

I closed my eyes shut tight as I felt Neil putting his mouth to my breasts and sliding a hand between my legs.

I tried to scream again this time as hard as I could. Neil stopped and before I could do anything he hit me right across thje face. The last thing I felt before I blacked out was the rush of wetness between my legs as my water broke and the last thing I saw was Neil's hand coming towards my face to hit me once more.


	10. Chapter 10

I regained consciousness to the most excruciating pain I had ever felt in my life. I had broken bones as a child, sprained wrists and ankles and even dislocated a shoulder but I would gladly take any of those pains instead of what I was feeling then. It literally felt like someone was ripping the bottom half of my body off. Even through the pain I could feel myself getting weaker and weaker like all of my energy was slipping out of my body. At that moment I realized that that was exactly what was happening my life was draining out of my body as my child fought to come into the world.

I panicked when I opened my eyes because I couldn't see anything. After a couple of seconds my vision returned and what I saw made me physically ill. Neil was lying on the floor with a wound to his head, there was blood everywhere and I was pretty sure I could pieces of his skull and brain in the blood. Standing at the foot of my bed holding a crowbar was John, he had tears running down his face. It took a couple of seconds for me to realize that he was talking to me. Finally, his words began to register.

"Oh, my God. You're bleeding so much; I don't know what to do. I have no clue how to deliver a baby, Oh my God, I'm so sorry." He kept looking from my blood soaked body to my face making this muttering sound.

I closed my eyes, trying to calm myself down. I used the breathing techniques I had read about in the books Erik had bought me. I concentrated on the fact that I needed to bring my child into the world safely and forced myself to put aside the pain. After a few moments I was able to think clearly and recall the things I had read about a home birth.

I took one last deep breath before opening my eyes and looking at John,

"Ok John listens to me. You can do this ok. You already saved my life now I need you to be strong and help me save my baby's. I know you don't know what to do but I do, so just do exactly what I tell you to and we'll be fine ok. I promise, Breath with me, inhale and exhale."

John was finally able to relax. He nodded his head giving me a determined, everything will be ok look.

"Ok, there are a few things you need to do preferably before I have another contraction. First off, get something to cover your brother up. I can't keep looking at him. Next, clear off the dresser and go over to my suitcase inside it are some baby blankets and clothes. Put down the baby blankets and get the clothes ready. Then we're going to need some buckets of hot water and lots of towels; big and small. Also, we need some scissors."

John ran off to do the things I had asked. While he was gone I focused on my breathing; focusing on taking deep cleansing breathes.

A**bout five minutes later John came back having done everything I had asked for him. He stood at the foot of the bed once more waiting for my instructions. **

"**Ok. The baby is about ready to come, I can feel it. So things are about to get ugly. No matter what I do or say do not leave me. Just keep telling me to push and be there to take the baby when he or she comes out."**

**John promised me he wasn't going anywhere just as my pain spiked and my vision flickered. **

**The next seven hours passed extremely slow. I don't remember much from that time just the unbearable pain and that all I could think about was Erik. My anger flared back to life as I thought about the fact that Erik would not be here for the birth of our child. My anger actually helped, I pushed harder and was better able to concentrate on my breathing instead of the pain. **

**Finally, just when I felt my energy draining away and I didn't think that I could keep pushing John gave this triumphant laugh and my first son came into the world. **e


	11. Chapter 11

When I woke up the first thing I felt was cold air hitting me. I looked over noticing that the French doors leading to the varanda were open. I was just wondering why John had opened them when he knew the baby shouldn't be ion the cold air like that when I looked over towards the baby and realizxed why the doors were open. Erik was standing in front of the baby and his shoul;der swere shakibng and I knew tghjat he was crying. At that moment all of my anger towards Erik came rushing back. Not only had he missed the birth of out child but hje had left me alone in the middle of no whefre, we could have bneen killed walkinmg down rthwat road at nighjt, I was almost raped and killed…again, and someone else had to deliver and take of our son.

I started to yell at the to[p of my l;ungs. "Erik, get the hell away from my son.!"

Erik turned looking at me with this shocked yet hurt look on huis face. "Yes thatrs right I said MY son you selfish bastard. Your not a father, what kind of father would leave the mother of their child alone in the middle of nowehere whuile she is pregnant! Not onkly trhat but you weren't ewvemn here wjhenm Noah was born! Raping me was bad enopughj but this… I'll never forgive you for this!"


	12. Chapter 12

I had seen Erik like this once before and that time I had let him off to easily this time it wasn't going to work that way. This time he had not only hurt me but my son had almost been hurt in the process and that wasn't something that I was going to stand for.

"Erik when we found out that I was pregnant you made me promise that I would love the baby no matter what and I promised you that I would. Well now I'm holding to that promise. I love that little boy and I swore to myself the first time I held him that I would do anything and everything in my power to keep him from having the life that you have. He is NEVER going to doubt my love for him. I also promised myself that I would never let anyone treat him the way you've been treated. With that being said, No I don't forgive you. You can't just come crying every time you do something wrong and automatically be forgiven, you have a child now and you need to grow up. Notice, I didn't say that you're a father now because there is a HUGE difference between having a child and being a father. You don't get to be a father just because you should up…late. Being a father is privilege and a blessing, it's something you earn. So I'll go back to the house with you but you should know that it's only because I don't know where my family is, if I did I'd be finding them and going back to America with Noah. So what's going to happen now is that we go home and we'll take of Noah just like we were going to but you're going to have to prove yourself and your going to have to earn my trust back. One of the big things you're going to have to do is learn that not everything is about you. You can't get mad and go into a rage every time you THINK someone judged you by your face. Your face doesn't make you the person you are, your actions do. O and by the way… John is coming with us, He saved our lives and I am not going to let him stay here and be blamed for his brother's death."

Erik and John both just stared at me like I was crazy. Erik stood up and sat on the edge of the bed. He tried to take my hand but I pulled it away before he could.

"Everything you said about me I completely agree with but taking him with us? That is crazy. Yes he saved you're life so let me give him some money and be done with it."

I just looked at Erik opened mouthed. "See this is what I am talking about?"

I turned to John giving him a small smile. "John how old are you?"

At that moment Noah started to whimper softly. John went over to him picking him and rocking him softly. Noah immediately calmed down falling back asleep.

Erik tried to hide it but I saw the flash of jealousy on his face and the anger in his eyes. I couldn't help but smile, he deserved it.

As he rocked Noah John answered my question. "I'm 14 Emily. Are you really going to take me with you? I…I don't have anywhere else to go."

The tone in his voice broke my heart. He was scared; scared of being left by himself at such a young age but also afraid of Erik. But I knew that he trusted me and that if I asked him if wanted to come with us he would.

I looked at Erik pointedly. "See John is only 14. He's a child. A FATHER wouldn't just leave a child by himself with no one to help him or take care of him. How could you leave a child to fend for himself?"

Erik looked at me with a confused expression on his face. "What is the big deal? I did it. I had to fend for myself and I was younger then he is."

"And look at you! Look how you turned out!" I yelled. "You have no compassion what so ever. You are a selfish stubborn bastard. If John wants to come with us then he is, that's it end of discussion." At this point I lowered my voice knowing that if I continued to yell the baby would wake up. "Besides Noah needs a big brother; someone to eventually take him outside and play with him since the man who made him seems to lose his mind every time he steps anywhere near the sunlight."

John set Noah back down then came running over to hug me. I laughed hugging him back. "You really mean it? You're going to take me with you; I can be Noah's big brother?"

I nodded my head smiling at him. "Yes John I mean it. You saved our lives. Erik may not understand the meaning of that but I do then I'm the one with bruises all over my face and a couple broken fingers. Noah already feels safe with you and so do I. I know that I am not that much older than you John but I will do everything that I can to be your friend and maybe someday like a mother to you but I promise that will always treat you the same as I do Noah. Just because I actually gave birth to him doesn't make you any less important."

John hugged me once more and as he put his head into the crook between my neck and shoulder he started to cry. I put my arm around him.

I saw the look on Erik's face but I ignored it. But I did see the look of pain that crossed his face as John began to speak. "My Mama she never liked me at least not as much as she liked Dean. He was always her favorite. She was always kissing and hugging him, she pretty much ignored me."

I moved John away from me so that I could look at him. "Sweetie I promise it will never be like that with me and I'm sure someday when Erik grows up a bit he won't treat you like that either."

Erik just shook his as he spoke. "Fine if that's really what you want we will take him with us."

John showed Erik to one of the other bedrooms and then we all went to bed. I lay awake for a while longer thinking about Erik and thinking about now having two sons and my baby having a sweet bog brother. Also I thought about how I really hoped that someday Erik would accept John.


	13. Chapter 13

Author's Note:

Wow I just realized that I haven't updated this phic since January but I have written about 6 new chapters. I just hadn't realized that I hadn't been updating this.

To whoever is reading this, I am sooo sorry.

I hope that I still have some readers.

The next day was a very stressful one for me. Noah was very fussy all day, not even John could get him to calm down. We had to leave the house and head back to ours before Johns parents came back. He was leaving them a note saying that he and Dean were moving to England and that they were tired of having to stay at the farm house while they traveled the world. We helped John get his things packed up which was difficult for me. It was hard just to stand; I hurt in places that no one should ever hurt.

Finally around 3PM we were ready to go. We all loaded into the carriage and went back to our house.

Erik and I had been avoiding each other all day and he hadn't done more than look at Noah. But neither of us could help but smile and chuckle at the look of excitement as John saw his new home. It really was a beautiful house and I couldn't help but be excited to finally live there despite everything that had happened.

We let John pick one of the guestrooms as his bedroom; of course he picked the one right next to Noah's so that he would be able to keep an eye on him.

I was pleasantly surprised when Erik offered to help John redecorate his room. I knew that John was still a little afraid of Erik but he agreed.

I lay resting on the couch in front of the fireplace with Noah while Erik and John were out in the garage building new furniture. I woke up a little while later and I could hear the hammers still going in the garage so I laid Noah in his crib near the coach and I sat there reading and relaxing.

A few minutes later John came into the room. He stood by the door shuffling his feet. I motioned him over and he sat next to me on the couch. "What is it sweetie?"

He took a deep breath before looking up at me. "What's wrong with Erik? Why does he wear that mask?"

I had expected this. I had already thought about it and had decided what I was going to say.

"Well you know how Noah's face is a little scarred? Well Erik's is like that but it's a lot worse and when he was younger everyone made fun of him and called him names. Also, his mama and daddy were mean to him because of it. So eventually he began to wear the mask so that no one would be able to see his face and he went to live somewhere by himself."

John sat there thinking for a few seconds before answering. "So is that why Erik is mad all of the time?"

I couldn't help but laugh at that. "Yes, sweetie. That's why. He's not used to being around other people and he's never had anyone who cared about him before."

John gave me a puzzled look. "But... But then he has nothing to be mad about anymore because he has us. You care about him and I...care about him and Noah will care about him too someday when he's older. We're...We're a family."

I smiled and reached over to pull John into a hug. "You're right John we are a family. Erik...he just hasn't quite realized it yet. He just needs time, he'll come around someday. We just have to do everything we can to help him."

As John hugged me back I looked up to see Erik standing in the doorway. I could tell that he was crying softly. But, when he saw that I was looking at him he turned and went back into the garage without saying a word.


End file.
